Day Cry

I Gotta make this DAY CRY one last I need to. Janet sweetie I love you more now than I ever did and possibly because you aren't here physically to interfer with my loving. But I gotta make this DAY CRY. You know it's Wed 24th and last was the 24th was on Tues, just one day late. (Tears running down)What was suppose to be a great lunch with friends turned out to be the day that will be remembered as a SUNSET FOR JANET J. MOON. GOd if you knew what my plans were for this girl, wait you did and you still do. Well for those who dont know, My plan was to hang on my first girlfriend and marry her. I dreamed of it since I was a lil child. But I know God is got plans for me. But I gotta make this DAY CRY.

For that day I had it all planned out: I mean that same morning I texted you about the picking time. Usually I would call you but that day I chose to text you, that was my last chance to hear your voice but I guess NOT. Satan what did I ever do to you to deserve this? But I gotta make this DAY CRY. I mean I was on my way to the REC Center with my friend and hoping to pick up my girlfriend afterwards, but it didnt happen. So I got off late from the gym and just headed straight to your house before shower. I guess that was my punishment of not finishing on time. Sweetie I gotta make this DAY CRY, my heart was broken into pieces and still is. You know there was never a big enough pain killers around to take the pain away. A part of me is gone forever and I want you to understand that. Sorry my Angel, but I gotta make this DAY CRY one last time.

Sure I knew you for few months but it seem forever, I mean we were like the same. It was easy to connect at a higher level. But I knew it was too good to be true, I mean life doesnt allow that much joy in relationships lol I just gotta make this DAY CRY baby girl. You know I am on my knees crying and thinking about the wonderful days we had and knowing those cant never be relived kills me. No matter how much I cry, no matter how much I try to forget I still see that day. The day I lost you and I must say I am miserable.

The funny thing is you could have said NO when I asked you out but you chose not to, God why did she do that????? Did I bring the joy to her that he didnt have? Was it the spoiling I was doing to her, because I think I spoiled her too much. My heart is NUMB JANET and if you could come back for ten seconds and tell me what had happen I would be relieve from all the bad thoughts I get sometimes. I know you didnt do it what they say you did. But I just gotta know how it happen and who and possibly why? This DAY CRIES out aloud. My heart was ripped out of me it has bled since nonstop.

Girl I could have marry you had a family but now we could never know for sure. But we do know this, the time we were togather it was the best time of this KID's life but I gotta make this DAY CRY. I mean you were my first girlfriend and girl I dont have words to express my feelings right now. I cant even see with my heart anymore because its full of tears. I am good as gone person right now emotionless. But I am crying hoping you can hear me, "please come back." How much do I gotta cry for? I cant sleep my eyes full of tears and hopeless heart. Hey what can I say right? Ha ha ha I gotta make this DAY CRY right?

Its the 24th DAY OF TEARS and tomorrow its my sista's Bday and I cant even enjoy that JANET. IT hurts so much because I cant really celebrate anything feelings this way and I am the only family she is got here. We cry togather though and oh yeah my niece is doing better. But I will visit you in a bit. Gosh I love you so much, but I guess picture can never be the same as you being here.

I could be with you now, I mean the way I was doing things just didnt care then. Driving about 100miles and hour, not eating for a long time, being careless with dangerous stuff, and I even wished that someone could jsut kill then. But no family and friends, family and friends, family and friends man. They were there through the entire time. Tears in my eyes right now because no one has family and friends like mine. I would NOT trade them for anything in the entire universe. My family personally, Brenda (the lady who was my bros' babysitter), Betty, Cristina, Peter, Steve, Cory, church members, wendy's crew and more man. My family cried with me and willing to fly out here for me. My mom is another story. Branda gave me a shoulder to cry on everyday, but she has her own pesronal email from me luv her like a mother. Then my goodness out of nowhere came Cristina, this girl people who dont know this girl. She reached out to me more than anyone, the reason I say this is because I mean the first night we met as soon as she heard about my situation. She stayed untill about what 5:30AM talking to me about it. She didnt know me at all but she managed to know me the same night. Cristina is the best friend I could ever ask for. Many nights and school time and work that she sacrificed for me. Its a shame I once tried to push her away. Now I am more clear with my head and I promise to have your back at anytime given and oh yeah ,the thing about "MY HEART JUST DOESNT CARE????" wasnt me speaking, it was pain and the anger from things you didnt hear Jerry say while you were cleaning the DiningRoom. All my friends are the best thing ever to me. Peter,I didnt even know you had that side on you. We were close but I think the situation got us closer. Betty become my very own grandma, we did aurge but she is my future grandma anyway. She was there more than anyone could see. Steve my boy just made sure I was straight with school and was with me almost everyday for lunches. Cory writing me everyweek from the training camp for marines. Omg I cant forget Monique from work. She understood me better than anyone. And I told her eveything that happened on our dates everyday and she was the only knew about us on the night crew. WE tried to hide from Jerry but yeah.

This DAY may CRY but in the end I am happy to have known you all old and knew friends.

Soon I visit my Angel and school is tomorrow and I havent registered yet. I thoought the 25th was on friday.

Luv U JJM always Sabelo.